Martial Martians

Sorry for my outburst yesterday, I should control my anger a little better. Anyway... Today is my penultimate day at work, and during my numerous walks into the station I've thought up loads of great blogs, I think one of them was about paedophiles, which I forget, probably another angry one (do you think I might be generally suppressing my anger at something?) and the other was about a news report I heard on the radio, which, I remember! I was on my way to work listening to Nic Ferrari on LBC before the news came on, I decided to stay tuned. Following the now regular financial reports, the newsreader announced that an exciting new discovery had been made on Mars...
Now, usually when I hear this, before the DJ or presenter finishes their sentence, my mind does it for them much to my interest, it starts conjuring up images of Martians, or advanced robots, or underground communities, or Killer hobbits with space helmets and eye patches, and I start wondering how we are going to survive the impending attack since they latched themselves onto our spaceship, before cunningly releasing themselves having entered the earth's gravitational pull? Or maybe, I think to myself, I'm just being silly and have watched too many films; what stupidity I tell myself - discarding such lunacy to the conclusion that they're probably perfectly friendly. So, that being the case, how are we going to greet them? Wait a minute, what if their friendly, cute, fluffiness is just a front to disguise their evil, malevolent intentions? How are we going to see through them? What if the government and army don't notice, but I secretly catch one viciously doing a cat in a dark back alley somewhere on my back from work, and nobody believes me? Then what if they find out that only I know the truth about them, and they come after me, and try to kill me... and find my DNA on a strand of hair, and decide to clone me and then send armies of me's after me, because the Martians are clever enough to know that I'd know me best? And still nobody believe me because the me clones can turn invisible? Although it would be terrible, it would also be terribly exciting, I prepare to smile as I rush to turn up the volume, anxiously waiting, nervously yearning to hear the end of the sentence, are they fluffy hobbits? Purple Hamster-like balls? Killer robots? The tension slows me down, the fear quickens my heart beat: "...scientists discovered new traces of ice below the surface of the red planet yesterday, this exciting discovery comes as..." Exciting discovery? Exciting discovery? EXCITING BLOODY DISCOVERY? EXCITING DISCOVERY MY ARSE!!! I have ice in my freezer! it stopped exciting me a long time ago!!! I don't have Laser Cyborgs in my freezer, or acute panoramic radioactive turtles, or transparent lunar hopscotch koala killers!